Re: [閒聊] 嘎?φ(._. )>
撇開至尊對決以外,身為足球迷還是有其他可以看的啦XD
http://bit.ly/1krohw9 Mirror
每日鏡報惡搞了大家在轉會期間會作的事情,
想想是真的蠻寫實的(?)
他把所有的轉會謠言發展過程分成了二十個步驟(靠)
並且舉了個絕對不會發生的例子lol
1. A rumour pops up on the Twitter account of a football
website you've never heard of, claiming inside knowledge of a
huge potential transfer affecting your team.
一個你從來沒有看過的足球網站的官方推特,
突然(為了流量)出了一個超乎你想像的乳摸
舉例:
Barcelona's Lionel Messi could be moving to
Morecambe for around £300M, our sources say
*Morecambe 是一個英乙球會,位於蘭開夏沿海
> ---- <
2. It gathers momentum at a ridiculous pace, with more and
more 『details' being added to the story by more and more 『
reliable' sources.
網路上關於這個乳摸的謠言呈現指數型成長,
越來越多的「細節稍後奉上」跟「可靠消息表示」
etc.
OMG - a mate of mine who knos a mate of Messi's
cousin says he's really unhappy in Spain because
Neymar keeps bullying him #MorecambeFC
or
Messi's lins burn for Lancashire and he's apparently
desperate to try our famous shrimp
* MFC的隊徽是一隻蝦
> ---- <
3. Going against all logic and everything you've ever known,
you find yourself latching on to a shred of belief that there
might be some truth in this somewhere – because how great
would it be, right?
你的感性開始戰勝你的理性,而且你會開始幻想要是成了會怎樣
> ---- <
4. The rumour finds its way into a foreign newspaper, and
things start to get serious.
消息開始在非英語報紙發酵,而且看起來像是真的(?)
> ---- <
5. Then they turn up in a British paper.
然後英媒開始語無倫次LOL
> ---- <
6. By this point, everybody is already starting to lose their
minds.
所有的球迷不分陣營都開始瘋狂了(?)
> ---- <
7. Fans work the player into your team's formation for next
season.
球迷已經迫不期待開始幫球隊排新的陣型,即便八字還沒一撇。
http://i.imgur.com/5Joye7K.jpg
這張圖必點XDDDD
> ---- <
8. Someone makes up some fake quotes, which duly do the rounds.
很多人開始幫球員的照片上加上他們假造的驚點語錄
http://i.imgur.com/agRjyBB.jpg
<- like this
"Barcelona is a bit rubbish to be honest. I want a
new challenge and I've always dreamed of joining a
League 2 club and working in my way up, just like my
hero, Rickie Lambert." <- XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
> ---- <
9. Your manager denies any contact with the player or the
club, which dulls the enthusiasm for about five minutes.
你家的總A出面否認,通常這時候可以讓你過熱的大腦冷卻五分鐘。
> ---- <
10. Because then, the player himself tweets something which is
taken wildly out of context.
但是又開始有人拿當事主角的推特出來各種發散超譯(?)
Lionel Messi:
Training is OK today.
然後熱情粉絲:
MESSI SAID TRAINING WAS ONLY OK!!! He definitely
hates it in Spain - he's coming to Morecambe!
> ---- <
11. Rumours start circling about the player's current club
looking at replacements.
乳摸網站開始造謠他的母隊正在找backup
like this:
Barcelona are lining up West Ham's Carlton Cole as a
replacement for Morecambe bound Lionel Messi
> ---- <
12. The player is spotted in England! It must be for a move!
Everyone goes crazy.
球員剛好在希斯羅機場還是英格蘭的哪兒被拍到!!!
大家都瘋了!!!!!
> ---- <
13. Before it turns out he's actually just there on holiday.
然後....大家發現他只是來渡假,先涼了一半
> ---- <
14. However, he misses a pre-season friendly, citing a dodgy
illness, and the frenzy is greater than ever.
但是主角本人可能各種因素錯過了熱身賽,官方表示這只是避免受傷,
重點是已經沒有人信了XDDDD (進入相信我之術 or 不管你信不信我就是信了 mode)
> ---- <
15. The player is left out of his club's promo shoot for next
season's kit – which can only mean one thing, right?
然後剛好他又不在新球衣的沙龍照上,想當然爾....
φ(._. )>φ(._. )>
> ---- <
16. Maybe this is actually going to happen?!
你忍不住會問自己:這是真的嗎?是真的嗎?真的嗎?
> ---- <
17. It's deadline day! You call in sick from work, set up
every screen you have for different TV streams and live
updates and settle in for a day on the couch in your underwear.
關窗日終於到了!
你已經跟老闆(或者老師)請了根本沒有人信的病假,
然後把所有你身邊有著銀幕的東西都打開,鎖定不同的頻道,
以便迎接劉美汐老闆來英乙當救世主的關鍵時刻(喂
> ---- <
18. Screaming young fans gather outside your stadium and stay
there all day, even though it's hailing in August and the Sky
Sports News presenter lost the will to live by about 11am.
俱樂部外面開始會聚集大量好事鄉民,並且硬要擠在記者旁邊擋鏡頭。
事實上天空體育倒楣的記者早就不想幹,關窗十二個小時之前就想收工了。
(我記得上個夏窗擠在記者後面的鳥迷太吵結果記者發火XDDDD)
> ---- <
19. It reaches midnight. Your eyes are red and painful, you
have carpal tunnel syndrome in your scrolling finger and you
realise all you've spent all day eating nothing but crisps.
直到關窗的那一刻,你的眼睛紅了,你切換頻道或按鍵盤的手指都拉傷了,
腕隧道症候群搞不好都發作了,然後你發現你整天只吃了家裡庫存的垃圾食物。
> ---- <
20. You wake up the next morning and remember that you love
your club no matter who plays for them, and hey, he probably
wouldn't have suited your playing style anyway.
隔天一早起來你發現你依然只是一個英乙球隊的小球迷,
然後無論球隊的球員名單上有誰你一樣會不離不棄,
可能還會安慰自己:哼,反正來得就算是比利搞不好都不一定能適應體系咧lol
--
好文,但是鏡報這樣報很自婊....XD
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 111.241.116.114
※ 文章網址: http://www.ptt.cc/bbs/FAPL/M.1407522043.A.7E5.html
※ 編輯: willyt (111.241.116.114), 08/09/2014 02:24:23
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