[轉錄] 麥迪失去親友的心理過程

看板T-mac作者Goooooooog1e (微熱的肛溫)時間19年前 (2006/05/31 15:15)推噓4(4推 0噓 10→)

留言14則, 5人參與討論串1/1

※轉自奧蘭多哨兵報Orlando Sentinel，原文連結已缺失；中文翻譯不知道是誰做的，只知道來自百度＿NBA吧，譯文連結也缺失，都是利用Google的頁庫存檔所提取，故我有所修改和部份重翻過；原本是因為我在Google找"Wayne Hall”這個關鍵字時發現的文章，不知道貼在這裡有沒有人已經看過或貼過？！原文頁庫存檔：http://0rz.net/3f1qb 翻譯頁庫存檔：http://0rz.net/441rg --- 麥迪失去親友的心理過程　　那是一個悲傷的時刻，但更糟的是，悲劇從此並沒有結束，反而變本加厲地跟隨在他周圍，儘管他逐漸成為NBA的超級明星，但是他獲得的越多，失去的也就越多--七個賽季，七次死亡，死去的都是麥迪無法忘記的人。　　「Ryan McGrady，我們都叫他Ryan T，他臨死之前正在打球，突然就離開了人間。」　　「Corey Bess，是我的表弟，被槍殺了。」　　「Vanessa Jones，我的好朋友之一，她的男朋友用手槍打中她的腦袋。」　　「Eric Anderson，那個可憐的男孩、我最好的夥伴之一，也被槍殺了。」　　「Henry Andrews，我和他一起去上學，結果他遇到車禍，死了。」　　「Jaclyn McGrady，那是我的繼母，死於癌症。」　　「Johnnie Ruth Green--是她撫養我長大，心臟病奪去了她的生命。」　　麥迪在痛苦地訴說著，每說到一個死者的名字，他的嘴角就會痛苦地抽搐一下。當生命中最重要的人之一Ryan T死亡之後，麥迪覺得命運太不公平，現在，有時候他都在懷疑自己的NBA生涯是否也會突然「死亡」。　這些突如其來、無法預測但又總是連綿不絕的死亡幾乎打垮麥迪，因為死去的都是他身邊重要的人，那些含辛茹苦養育他長大的親人或者發小兒。很少人能夠理解他的真實心境，當親朋一個個走向天堂，身在人間的麥迪被無盡的恐懼咬嚙著，就像一群人坐在一條船上，當一個又一個的人被大海吞沒時，倖存的那個人其實是最害怕的人。他最怕電話在午夜中響起。「這樣的事情發生過很多次。」24歲的麥迪神情麻木，用低沉的嗓音緩緩地說，「每天晚上睡覺的時候，我都擔心是否還會有人遭到意外。因為以前，電話響起，傳來的總是壞消息。」第一個在麥迪臥室響起的午夜電話是1997年11月，那時他正在多倫多打第一個NBA季前賽。比賽的疲勞讓小麥很快沉沉入睡，但到了深夜，他被一陣急促尖利的電話鈴聲吵醒，對方告訴麥迪，他的好朋友Henry Andrews在州際4號公路駕車的時候遭遇車禍，不治身亡。那是一個多麼頑強的橄欖球運動員，Andrews的個子雖然很矮，可是即使碰到比他大上兩號的對手，他也絕對不會畏懼。可是車禍卻奪去他年輕的生命，麥克格雷迪很傷心，但過了一段時間，他總算接受這個事實。那是車禍，只是個意外，不是嗎？小麥經常拿這個理由來安慰自己。可那是在Ryan T死亡之前，在後一起悲劇發生後，它幾乎改變麥迪整個人生態度。當時，他在多倫多才剛剛開始自己的職業生涯，一天，他正在和女朋友在餐館吃飯。美好的職業前景，笑靨如花的女朋友，還有品質頂級的葡萄酒，小麥陶醉在人間的奢華生活之中。這時，他的手機響了，他的弟弟Chance打來電話，告訴他的哥哥，Ryan T打籃球的時候突然哮喘病發作，被緊急送到醫院救治。麥迪很擔心T的病情，但想到那只是哮喘，應該不會有多大的生命危險。他和女朋友討論著表弟的病情。大約15分鐘後，Chance又打來電話，沒說兩句，麥克格雷迪就怔怔地愣在哪裡，即使女朋友急促地催問他發生了什麼，小麥還是沉默不語，像一座雕像那樣，呆坐著。　　Chance在電話中說T被送到醫院後搶救無效。最初，當Chance說「他沒有醒過來」，小麥還不知道是什麼意思，他問「沒醒過來意味著什麼？」Chance在電話那頭難過地說：「哥，他已經死了。」麥迪悲痛異常，T是他非常喜愛的表弟，兩個人的關係處得就跟親兄弟一樣，沒事的時候，T還經常向表哥發起籃球場上的「鬥牛挑戰」。　　餐刀從他的手上掉落，然後他和女朋友瘋一般地衝出餐館，「我不知道當時是否已經為那頓飯買單。」麥迪後來回憶說。他回到自己在多倫多的住處，把自己重重地「摔」到床上，然後一動不動，那個晚上，他始終沒有改變自己的最初姿勢。第二天早晨，一臉悲痛的麥迪飛回家鄉。　　但家不再是以前的那個家，而且永遠都不會再和以前一樣，因為它永遠少了最重要的親人之一，彷彿珍貴的花瓶被摔壞，再精心修復也難復如初。　　Ryan T、Corey Bess和Eric Anderson的死，傷小麥最深，他們從小一起長大，一起分享著小麥的NBA夢想。可當小麥實現他的夢想後，為他祈禱和祝福的人卻已經離開人世，沒有人和他打招呼，就悄悄地「不辭而別」。 Ryan和Corey從小是麥迪的鄰居，另一個死去的小姑娘Vanessa Jones也是他們兒時的夥伴，那個可愛、熱心的小姑娘有著一對嚴厲的父母。他們一起把自己住的地方--離奧蘭多很近的Auburndale小鎮--叫作「小山」，雖然那裡並沒有一座山。　　現在，有空閒的時候，麥迪經常開車去「小山」追思往事，那裡有他的童年，有他大量的生活痕跡。最重要的是，他來到那裡，就會自然地想起天國中的朋友。　　「就是在那個地方，看，就是那裡。」他熟悉地指著一處地方，辛酸地說：「我們一起打橄欖球和棒球，那裡是我們童年的樂園。還有那邊的一條河，我的祖母過去常去釣魚，到了晚上，我們就有香噴噴的煎魚可吃。那是我們最盼望的事情。」　　他能夠清楚得記得朋友家的方位，到現在都是。他家外面有一道被遮蔽起來的走廊，很小，只夠走20步，但對於童年的小麥來說，那裡很大，可以站下他、他母親、祖母和一位客人。在街道的拐角處，就是Venessa的家，再左邊隔兩家就是Ryan T的家，如果往下走不遠的距離，就是Henry和Corey的家。這些好朋友住得都很近，最遠的也只有150碼的距離。　　他們的童年過得都是簡單的生活--對於「複雜的」攜帶槍支和嗑藥，他們都是躲得遠遠地。他們的父母也不許他們出現在新希望街和Hobbs街等地方，因為那裡有著太多的不法交易，經常發生犯罪活動。麥迪有一次在那裡親眼看見警察在一次掃蕩行動中逮捕了他在一支少年橄欖球隊打球的教練。還有一次，他透過柵欄看到一名男子被手槍打死，大腿被炸彈炸飛。　　「我的感覺就是『媽啊』，怎麼會發生這種殘忍的事情呢。」麥迪描述他童年看到的慘劇，至今還覺得心有餘悸，「實在是太可怕了，從那以後，我就下定決心永遠都不要介入到那種事情之中。太可怕了。」　　就在麥克格雷迪在多倫多的最後一個賽季，Vanessa Jones--就是那個可愛的、有著父母嚴格管教的小姑娘--被槍殺了。　　那是在1999年10月6日的早晨，麥克格雷迪正在更衣室裡寄鞋帶，準備即將到來的季前賽。　　同時，一起悲劇正在麥迪童年生活的地方「小山」發生。悲劇的主角是他的好朋友瓦尼莎‧瓊斯。那個早晨，Vanessa的母親Flora接到一個電話，打電話的人聲稱她的丈夫大衛在駕駛一輛卡車時遇到麻煩，希望Flora趕過去幫忙。然後，Flora就離開家，她告訴女兒 Vanessa她很快就會回來。因為家中最近遇到一件麻煩，Vanessa與前任男友Oscar Hodge分手，後者幾天前來到她們家要求談談被拒絕。Flora預感到有什麼事情要發生。　準確地說，Vanessa三天前決定與Hodge分手，退還了他的訂婚戒指。於是，警方後來認為 Hodge無法忍受這種失望，故意指使一個人打電話給Vanessa的母親，把她支走，這樣房子裡就只剩下Vanessa一個人。當Flora剛一離開，Hodge就鬼影瞳瞳地接近Vanessa的家，他按響了門鈴。開門的人正是Vanessa，還沒等她反應過來關門，Hodge扣動扳機，一顆口徑為0.38 厘米的子彈射進Vanessa的大腦。　　當Flora意識到受騙趕緊回家，發覺女兒已經屍橫在家門，據後來的法醫簽定，Vanessa 當時已經死去半個小時。實施報復計劃成功的Hodge開車來到一個公眾場合，宣稱他殺了一個人，把自己的手機扔給一個旁觀者，然後把手槍放進自己的嘴巴裡，再次扣動扳機……但是，他的自殺計劃沒有成功，等到他恢復健康後，也就是2001年，他被判終生監禁。　　19歲的Vanessa永遠去了，麥迪沒有參加她的葬禮，但是距離無法阻擋這起悲劇對他的震動。她是一個多麼好的姑娘，有著良好的家教，經常是放學就回家溫習功課。「為什麼有人要想用槍殺死她呢？」麥迪非常不理。　　如果你愛一個女人，你想娶她，就應該尊重她。為什麼要殺她呢？簡直是太離譜了。」麥迪喃喃自語。　　來到魔術隊後，小麥買下去世的高爾夫球手Payne Stewart的別墅，那裡位於奧蘭多的西南部，十分幽靜，是一個居住的好地方。可不久，他知道自己的繼母Jaclyn患上癌症，即將撒手人寰。他慷慨地提出自己將會照顧弟弟Chance--他是Jaclyn帶過來的孩子，成為 Chance的監護人。Jaclyn淚流滿面，感謝小麥的仁愛。　　那一年，麥迪真正地成為NBA的明星，到了2000-01賽季末，麥迪已經是NBA最受人矚目的大明星之一。兩周後，Jaclyn去世，麥迪和Chance一直祈禱母親能夠活到母親節那一天（五月的第二個星期天），但病魔冷冷地拒絕了他們的請求。　　不到兩周後，警察在一個名叫Fort Myers的地方發現麥迪兒時夥伴Corey Bess的屍體，之前一個叫Derek Davis的男子試圖搶劫Bess和他的一個同伴，兩個人見勢不妙奪路而逃，但罪惡的子彈擊中科裡的背部和腿部。他的同伴被擊中手臂，倖存了下來，可科裡卻再沒有醒過來。　　「小山」的夥伴Corey、Ryan、Vanessa都離開了。麥迪和他們曾經是最鐵的「死黨」，他們是無話不談的朋友，可別的好友卻像約好般地在天國再次「結伙」，偏偏撇下他一個人。　　逛。騎著，騎著，當麥迪意識到只有他一個人在騎著車，沒有朋友在他的身邊時，這個的男人就會嚎啕大哭，他聲嘶力竭地喊著：「一切都變了，變了。他們都離開了這裡，去幹自己的事情，他們又團聚了。」　　這個球場上的天才球員在「小山」的曠野處孤獨無助，「沒了，沒了，現在就是和我一起長大的貓都沒了。」他的嗓子都哭啞了，可他還在哭泣著。可憐的孩子。他在球場上那堅強，可有時候他比誰都要脆弱。　上賽季，麥迪以場均32.1分的絕對高分摘下NBA的「得分王」。他的進攻才華讓人瞠目結舌，有些晚上，一些球隊對他的防守簡直「形同虛設」，人們都相信他是不可阻擋的。但「死亡惡魔」沒有絲毫地畏懼他，它製造的「防守」似乎是麥迪永遠不可逾越的情感障礙。　　去年三月，一大幫朋友聚集在小麥的別墅中，他們為了一件事情而來，可來到之後，卻沒有人有勇氣說出真相。諾大的別墅靜寂地可怕，大家都在尷尬地沉默著，小麥盯著自己的朋友，怒氣沖沖地發問：究竟發生了什麼，告訴我，我能夠挺得住！　　他的又一位朋友Eric Anderson死了。　　這個在Auburndale高中打控球後衛的小伙子，在一處麥當勞停車地方觀看一夥人鬥毆時，被飛來的子彈誤入胸膛。他死的時候，只有25歲。　　他們有著很深的友情，即使在麥迪大紅大紫、很不得志的時候，依然如此。麥迪曾經試圖說服Anderson搬到奧蘭多，用他的學歷來找一份工作。安德森答應了，但卻是有條件的-- 他可以接受小麥的文憑，但是他不想住在離小麥很近的地方。他說：「我不想與特雷西住在一起，靠著他的幫助生活。」　　在Anderson死去的那個夜晚，他本來是計劃回家與女朋友呆在一起，但是卻沒想到飛來橫禍。那場打鬥一直從一家俱樂部打到麥當勞的一處停車場。正在旁邊觀看的Anderson打電話給女朋友，讓她趕緊開車過來接他走。但已經晚了，正在打鬥的一夥流氓拔出了他們的槍 ……槍響了，Anderson倒在血泊之中，無辜的人成為受害者。當Anderson女朋友開車趕來時，她的男朋友已經停止了呼吸。　　麥迪簡直不敢相信這起悲劇。新年來到之後，他安慰自己說這一年他不會再失去親人好友，這應該是他發達、快樂和安寧的一年。他在球場上不可阻擋，他的女兒Layla順利出生，一切都預示著美好的前景。他想，不會再聽到「午夜凶鈴」，不會再有詭異的死亡。這個賽季就要結束，應該沒有意外了吧。　　但最後，麥迪帶著淒慘的心情出現在Cypress教堂的葬禮儀式上，他和他的朋友欲哭無淚，恨死了這家教堂，「我們每一次來到這裡都是參加葬禮。我們討厭這個教堂，真的。」麥迪最後再看了Anderson遺體一眼，淚水奪眶而出，身體顫抖得厲害，他的兩個朋友趕緊扶住小麥。　　朋友知道他又情緒失控了，儘管他在球場上是不可阻擋的，但在這裡，永遠都不是這樣。　　直到今天，他還在思念著已經去了天堂的Anderson。「說實話，我仍舊不能相信他死了的事實，我想他是去度假，或者去幹別的事情了。我不能相信啊。」在參加完Anderson的葬禮後，小麥和私人訓練師Wayne Hall碰巧翻到一些老照片，都是他們外出參加活動時拍的，其中就有小麥和Anderson的合影。照片裡，他們幸福地笑著，小麥摩挲照片，久久不語，「如果你看他這時的表情，是你希望永遠都不要看到的悲痛欲絕的樣子。」Hall說。　　在本賽季初，麥迪有過一段消沉的時間，他批評NBA的聯防「殺」了他的進攻才華，是對他的禁錮。他說看到自己的球隊連輸19場比賽無法忍受，他說自己考慮過要離開籃球。　　但熟悉小麥的人都知道，那不過是這名天才球員情緒紊亂時的正常表現。太多的死亡和悲劇讓小麥深深地恐懼未來，他經常在害怕地想：「今年，我還會失去誰？」　　又是一起讓他心碎的悲劇。今年一月份，他的舅媽JOHNNIE死於心臟病發作，在小麥貧困的童年，舅媽對他的幫助很大。　　今年二月，麥迪舉辦了一個生日party，他的女兒Layla度過一週歲生日。這一天，他的家變成兒童們的樂園，蛋糕、氣球、玩具和鮮花到處都是。歡樂的氣氛，終於讓麥克格雷迪多年悲痛的心緒終於有所緩解。　　「我不敢相信自己有一個可愛的女兒，一個真真實實的女孩子。」麥迪搖著頭，但臉上浮現出大大的笑容。　　他的朋友Obbe Maldonado與小麥站在一塊，他們在回憶過去的往事，兩個人的角色在男人、男孩和男人之間不斷切換著。現在，他們都是有孩子的父親。「我告訴你，」 Maldonado說，「現在還用我告訴你嗎？直到你有了孩子，你才會真正地懂得生命。」　　「你將會為自己的孩子死去。」Maldonado說。　　「我肯定會的。」小麥很快地答道。　　只有在這個時刻，死亡才是不憚於提起的一個單詞。為了自己的孩子而正常地按照自然規律去死，那是愛的體現。　　「每一個人都無法逃避死亡，他們都會迎來自己的那一天。」麥迪超然地說。　　但小麥還無法超然到忘記那些過去光怪陸離的死亡，他寧願擁有這些記憶，而不是永遠忘記。「儘管我很受傷，但那些事實無法磨滅。我很受傷，但我還活著。儘管我身體有很多傷，但我還能夠打球，我還會不斷地打球。所有死去的人都值得我的尊重，都值得我去為他們而拚搏。」 --- 英文原文如下： Seven seasons, seven deaths. Tracy McGrady's life is forever scarred with the sudden losses of loved ones. By Jerry Brewer | Sentinel Staff Writer Posted February 29, 2004 Email this story to a friend Printer friendly version SEVEN SEASONS, SEVEN DEATHS # HENRY ANDREWS, 20, friend. -- Died Nov. 7, 1997. Car accident. # RYAN T. McGRADY, 19, cousin. -- Died Dec. 5, 1999. Complications from asthma. # VANESSA JONES, 19, friend. -- Died Oct. 6, 1999. Shot. # JACLYN McGRADY, 38, stepmom. -- Died May 8, 2001. Cancer. # COREY BESS, 22, cousin. -- Died May 20, 2001. Shot. # ERIC ANDERSON, 25, best friend. -- Died March 16, 2003. Shot. # JOHNNIE RUTH GREEN, 73, great aunt. -- Died Jan. 28, 2004. Heart failure. GRAPHICS Mourning star. (ORLANDO SENTINEL PHOTO ILLUSTRATION) Feb 29, 2004 PHOTOS Nothing but grief. (COURTESY OF TRACY MCGRADY) Feb 29, 2004 Reaching out. (COURTESY OF HOOTEN FAMILY) Feb 29, 2004 ORLANDO MAGIC NEWSLETTER Get more Orlando Magic coverage delivered straight to your inbox. Become a member of our site and sign up for our Orlando Magic newsletter. NEXT GAME SEASON RECORD 17-45, last in Atlantic Division NEXT GAME March 3, vs. Milwaukee, 7 p.m. (Sunshine Network) LAST GAME March 1, lost to Boston, 117-96 ORLANDO MAGIC 2003-04 schedule Magic televison schedule Roster | Player stats 2003-04 photo gallery Team news | Player profiles Multimedia presentations Magic player photos 2003-04 season preview PAST SEASONS 2002-03: Results | Season stats | Playoff results | Playoff stats | Photos | Playoff photos | Playoff stories | Season preview 2001-02: Results | Season stats | Playoff stats | Photos | Playoff photos 2000-01: Results | Photos | Playoff stories | Playoff photos NBA NBA news | Scores Standings: East | West Stats | Teams | Injuries Odds The boy had a question. It was not about his car accident, the one that put him in this hospital bed and left him comatose for 13 days. It was not about his crushed pelvis, his shattered hip, his punctured lung, his damaged brain. It was not about the ventilator that sustained him. Hayden Hooten kept looking at some pictures. In each one, he rested gingerly in bed, and Tracy McGrady, his favorite basketball player, leaned over him, smiling. The photos were all over the 16-year-old's room at Sand Lake Hospital, blown up poster size. "Tracy McGrady came to see me?" he asked. "Why?" Obbe Maldonado understood his friend now. He saw McGrady's desert-dry face swell with tears. Then McGrady collapsed, and two men strained to lift his 6-foot-8 body. It was December 1999. They were at the funeral of McGrady's cousin, Ryan T. For the first time in his life, Maldonado witnessed McGrady, then 19, unable to control himself. "That's when I knew he had feelings," Maldonado said. It was a sad moment that would only multiply itself. It triggered seven paradoxical years for a teen who would grow into a star. The more McGrady has gained, the more he has lost. Seven NBA seasons, seven deaths. These people cannot be forgotten. "Ryan McGrady -- we called him Ryan T. -- he was playing ball and forgot his inhaler. "Corey Bess. They shot my cousin." "Vanessa Jones, her boyfriend shot her in the head." "Henry Andrews, went to school with him, car accident." "Jaclyn McGrady, that was my stepmom, cancer." "Johnnie Ruth Green -- she helped raise me -- it was her heart." When Ryan T. died, McGrady considered life unfair. Now, he sometimes wonders if it is as fleeting as an NBA career. Seven deaths later, loss has scarred McGrady. It doesn't make his grief more important than others who mourn. It doesn't make him more of a victim of his roots and of circumstance than any other person who has risen from poverty. This struggle puts him on a universal level. Move through tragedy with McGrady, and his smirking, aloof image vanishes. Then a man who fears answering his phone after midnight appears. "It's happened so many times," McGrady, now 24, said. "I'm wondering who's going to be next. Sleeping at night, waiting on a late phone call. Bad news." The first phone call came in November 1997. McGrady was going through his first NBA preseason in Toronto when he learned that Henry Andrews, the little football player who could fight guys twice his size, had fallen asleep while driving and wrecked on Interstate. 4. McGrady was miffed, but he accepted Henry's death as a random occurrence. That was before Ryan T. died. He was having dinner with his girlfriend in Toronto, where his NBA career began. Chance, his brother, was on the other end. Chance told his brother that Ryan T. had an asthma attack while playing basketball. McGrady was concerned but not panicked. Ryan T. was an asthmatic. This had happened before. Fifteen minutes later, Chance called again. "He didn't make it." "What do you mean he didn't make it?" "He died, man." McGrady dropped his fork. He and his girlfriend bolted from the restaurant. "I don't know if I paid the bill," he said. He returned to his condo and plopped on his bed. He did not move the rest of the night. He flew home in silence the next morning. Home wasn't the same. Home never would be the same again. McGrady is from Auburndale, a Polk County town of 11,000 between Orlando and Tampa. Ryan T. died on the court where McGrady honed his game. The deaths of Ryan T., Corey Bess and Eric Anderson hurt McGrady the most. He grew up with them. They shared his NBA dream. They all died as McGrady lived their dream. Ryan T., Corey and Tracy lived in the same neighborhood, as did Vanessa Jones, a cute, studious girl with strict parents. They called the neighborhood The Hill, though there is no hill. McGrady often drives through The Hill to remember his past. "That was, like, the spot," he said. "We played football in the street. We played baseball. We'd do anything. My grandmother used to always go fishing, and we'd always have a fish fry in the evening time. That's what we did." He can remember the proximity of his friends. On Lincoln Court, there's his old home with the screened porch, small enough to walk through in 20 steps, large enough to accommodate Tracy, his mother, grandmother and a visitor. Around the corner, on Henry Street, is Vanessa's home. Two houses to the left is Ryan T.'s place. Two more houses down, at the end of Henry, are Corey's -- CB's -- quarters, where all the boys used to hang. Four friends in 150 yards. It was a simple life, as long as they stayed away from the complicated stuff -- the drugs and guns. Out of hood nobility, the children had some protection. They weren't allowed on this one stretch, between New Hope and Hobbs streets. There was too much dealing, too much crime there. McGrady once witnessed police arrest his youth league football coach during a drug bust. Gunshots were as common as wind gusts. McGrady wasn't even a teenager when he looked over a fence and saw a dead man, his leg separated from the blast of a shotgun. "I was like, 'Damn,'. " McGrady said. "I changed after that. I was like, 'Man, this is real out here.' I didn't want to be a part of that. Not at all." Barry and Lynn Hooten didn't know what motivated McGrady to see their son. Maybe it was the Polk County connection. Maybe Hayden living in Lake Wales, about 20 minutes from Auburndale, mattered to McGrady. Hayden kept asking why, and his parents just smiled and confirmed the authenticity of those pictures. Hayden was entranced. The parents hoped that reinforcing his idol's visit would help cure his post-traumatic amnesia. McGrady came on Dec. 20, or Day 45 of his hospital stay. There would be 27 more days there, none better than this one. McGrady pulled out an autographed game jersey and presented it to Hayden. "Our boy lit up like a light bulb," the parents recalled. McGrady left Auburndale in 1996 and went to Durham, N.C. He spent his senior year of high school at Mount Zion Academy, a basketball factory located in a boom area for hoops. To become a great player, he had to go elsewhere. He made the biggest of jumps, from high school to the NBA, ventured to Toronto in 1997 and missed his little country town for his entire rookie season. After the 1999-2000 season, McGrady would become a free agent and sign with the Orlando Magic, partly because Orlando is 40 miles from Auburndale. It was a homecoming. But home, or at least the feeling behind it, was dissolving. In McGrady's final season in Toronto, Vanessa Jones -- the cute, studious girl with strict parents -- was killed. On the morning of Oct. 6, 1999, McGrady laced his sneakers to endure more of the preseason NBA grind. In The Hill, on Henry Street, Flora Jones received a call. The caller told Flora that her husband, David, was having problems with his truck. David needed Flora to meet him at The Tree, a local landmark in nearby Winter Haven, the caller said. Flora left to help her husband. She told her daughter, Vanessa, that she would be back. Flora and Vanessa had been surprised earlier when Vanessa's ex-boyfriend, Oscar Hodge, came to the house pleading to chat. He was rejected. It was over between the two. They had split three days earlier. Vanessa had taken off the engagement ring and given it back. Hodge couldn't handle the disappointment. So, police think, he had someone place that phony call to Flora. Once Flora left, he approached the home. Vanessa opened the door. Hodge fired a .38 at her head. Mom would return home to find her daughter's body 30 minutes later. Then Hodge drove to a Lake Cannon boat ramp, proclaimed he had killed a person, threw his cell phone to an onlooker and placed that gun in his mouth. He pulled the trigger, but his suicide attempt failed. After he recovered, his trial began, and in 2001 he was sentenced to life in prison. Vanessa, 19, was gone. By the end of the year, only Corey and Tracy were left from The Hill crew. McGrady did not attend the funeral, but distance did nothing for the shock. This was Vanessa, a good girl, who had the strictest parents, who often came home from school, went into the house and did not resurface until the bus arrived the next morning. The type of girl that had great parenting, McGrady said. Shoot her? Who would shoot her? "You love a woman," McGrady said. "You want to marry her. Things get bad. So you shoot her? It's crazy, man. Crazy." After McGrady joined the Magic, he bought the mansion of deceased golfer Payne Stewart, a private home tucked away in southwest Orlando. He also learned his stepmother, Jaclyn, was dying of cancer. He offered to take care of his brother, Chance, Jaclyn's child. He became big bro and guardian. The dying mother gushed over her stepson's generosity and love. McGrady became a star that year. He led the Orlando Magic in scoring and verve. By the time the 2000-2001 season ended, McGrady was one of the brightest young talents in basketball. Two weeks later, Jaclyn died. McGrady and his brother, Chance, had prayed for her to make it to Mother's Day. But the cancer would not allow it. Less than two weeks later, police found Corey Bess' body in Fort Myers. A Fort Myers man, Derek Davis, allegedly killed him. A robbery attempt had turned bad. Corey and Adrin McGough, a Winter Haven native, tried to run. Bullets struck Corey in the back and leg. McGough was shot in the arm, but he survived. The Hill seemed faceless now. McGrady had escaped, but Corey, Ryan T. and Vanessa had exited, too. Corey -- CB -- was the glue. Everyone used to show up at his place. He had the basketball goal. He had the latest video games. He shared with all. "CB made sure we were straight," McGrady said. "He just took care of us." CB, Ryan T. and Tracy. They were a clique. They were a rhyme. They were now extinct. McGrady rides through The Hill and remembers them riding bikes through the neighborhood. Or maybe they're teasing Vanessa on the way home from school. They're all memories now of a different time, of a misplaced time. "It's not the same," he said. "It's not the same at all. Everybody who's come out of there, they're off doing their own thing. They're locked up. They're dead. That's basically it. Or they're probably on drugs. "All the cats I grew up with, they're not even around there. None of them. Nobody." Slowly, Hayden's amnesia lifted. Why it happened, not even the doctors can say for certain. But after McGrady's visit, Hayden began to improve. This much is fact: McGrady came to see Hayden. The family took pictures. The family used those pictures to make Hayden want to remember. Eventually, Hayden remembered. Hayden's father, Barry, is a pastor. His strongest beliefs go beyond medicine. That day with McGrady was uplifting, and everyone in the room felt it. That day sparked Hayden. "We're not going to give all the glory to T-Mac," Barry said, "but the Lord, he works through people." McGrady led the NBA in scoring last season. He averaged 32.1 points per game, but it was the ease in which he scored that astonished. Some nights, there was just no defense for him. He was untouchable in those games, and people could tell from his first shot. Last March, with the MVP chants at their loudest, he stared at a room full of silent friends. They had all gathered at his mansion, but no one wanted to tell McGrady the truth. Eric Anderson was dead. His guy, his point guard at Auburndale High School, took a bullet to the chest while watching a fight in a McDonald's parking lot. Lil' E was gone at 25. He and McGrady had been playing phone tag, and this is what hurt the most. McGrady had been trying to convince Lil' E to move to Orlando. McGrady wanted Lil' E to use his college degree and find a job near him. Eric agreed, but he didn't want to live off McGrady. If he was going to make the move, he didn't want to use his friend for assistance. At the same time, he sensed that he needed to leave Polk County as soon as he could. "There's nothing good for me here," he would tell friends. On the night he died, Eric planned to stay home with his girlfriend. He went out late. At a club, a 7-year-old incident regurgitated itself. A fight ensued, and Eric's brother, Curtis Crossley, was involved. This quarrel drifted to a McDonald's restaurant in Lakeland, about 5 miles from the club. Lil' E went to look after his brother. But as the group headed toward McDonald's, he called his girlfriend and asked her to come get him. The 7-year-old feud turned into a brawl at McDonald's. The participants raged against each other while onlookers encircled them. Then, police say, Aree Spivey, Jason Reid and Patrick Brown pulled out their guns. Crossley's crew was stunned. A fistfight had turned into a pistol-whipping, bullet-flying fiasco. By the time Eric's girlfriend arrived, he was dead. The bystander became the victim. McGrady couldn't believe it. He figured this was the year he wouldn't lose anyone. What happened to untouchable? This was his year. He was unstoppable on the court. Layla, his daughter and the gift that made life comprehensible, was born. He figured there would be no early-morning phone calls, no awkward declarations of death. The season was almost over. He had almost survived. So there was another funeral at Cypress Cathedral, one of the largest churches in town. And on the ride there, McGrady and his friends said, "Every time we come to this church, it's for a funeral. We hate this church, really." And McGrady looked at a dead body again. And tears streamed again. And two men were needed to prop him up again. People knew he had feelings again. He was not untouchable again. Disbelief reigned again. "I think about them every day," McGrady said. "Ryan, I still can't believe that he's dead. I assume that he's down in Auburndale, doing his normal thing. And E, the same thing. I just can't believe that." Shortly after Eric's funeral, McGrady and his trainer, Wayne Hall, came across some old photographs. They were in the Philippines for an adidas promotion and posing with a basketball team of dwarfs. They had been so taken by these guys. They looked so happy in the pictures. Hall looked at McGrady while he stared at those pictures. He was looking at Lil' E with "that look like you'll never see him again," Hall said. McGrady got quiet. His friends know to leave him alone then. "Because I just go into my own little cage," he said. "I go into my own little shell and just clam up. And I'm out of it for a while." At the beginning of this season, McGrady suffered a slump unmatched since he became a star. He cried about the NBA's zone defenses, which he thinks limit him. He watched his team lose 19 consecutive games. He revealed that he considered quitting basketball. It was thought to be the fit of a spoiled superstar. McGrady stuck out his chest, and then in private would think to himself, "Who will I lose this year?" In January, Johnnie, his great aunt, died of heart failure. A key figure in his upbringing was gone. He was saddened but not shocked. By now, he can set his watch to death. McGrady threw a birthday party last month. His daughter, Layla, turned 1. His home turned into a kids' carnival, with family friends and children giggling amid balloons and cake. Worry had ceased. "I can't believe I have a little girl," he said, laughing and shaking his head. "A real girl." Obbe Maldonado, his childhood friend, joined him. They reminisced. They went from men to boys to men in their chat. They reunited at fatherhood. "I told you," Maldonado said. "Didn't I tell you? You'll never know about life until you have your own kid." McGrady nodded. "I sure will," McGrady replied. During that moment, death was not a word to fear. Love resided within the thought of death. "You can't escape it," McGrady said. "Everybody has their time." Such a truth won't stop memories from roiling McGrady. There always will be those weird, quiet moments. He understands this. He would rather have those moments than forget. He will never forget. "There's nothing wrong with that," he said. "I'm hurting, though. I'm really hurting. But I'm alive. So I'll play with this pain. I'll play through this pain. All those people I've lost, they deserve that from me." Before McGrady left the hospital, Hayden needed to know something. He needed to know if his idol was OK. McGrady grinned to calm him. The tenor of this meeting had shifted. It was no longer just about what McGrady could do for Hayden. The boy had touched the icon. They both understood why McGrady had come then. Hayden still needed to know if McGrady was OK. They would part soon, Hayden to rehabilitation, McGrady to the rest of a basketball season. They did not meet to be lifelong friends. They were destined to stop briefly as they passed by each other. And McGrady's assurance would end this encounter. "Well, you just keep working," he said, "and I will, too." Jerry Brewer can be reached at jbrewer2@orlandosentinel.com. Copyright c 2004, Orlando Sentinel -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.118.224.17 ※ 編輯: Goooooooog1e 來自: 140.118.224.17 (05/31 15:20)