Re: [新聞] Joba's big night will be a success - …

看板NY-Yankees作者miyatan時間17年前 (2008/06/04 14:27)推噓11(11推 0噓 0→)

留言11則, 11人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)

因為輸錢了 T_T 我只好來簡單翻譯一下這篇... 因為這篇裡文法和特別字和球迷的梗實在太多, 所以可能也不會很精準 ※ 引述《leddy (耿秋)》之銘言： : Joba還沒投, 投球的結果就出爐了, 太長了沒時間翻, 超好笑。 : http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/story/10851298/1 : Joba's big night will be a success -- if there are two of him Joba晚上的第一個大舞台會是成功的 -- 如果有兩個他的話 : June 2, 2008 : By Larry Dobrow : Special to CBSSports.com : It is finally here, the moment up to which every sports fan's life has been : building. A happening that will make the Gods cheer and the seraphim sing. An : event so monumental it will make the first of Michael Jordan's : re-un-retirements look anticlimactic. 這終於來了, 讓所有的運動迷們記位的這一刻. 讚美神而且吟唱聖歌. 這時刻充滿記念性, 讓Michael Jordan重新上陣那次看起來一整個虎頭蛇尾. : Joba Chamberlain will make his first major league start Tuesday night in The : Bronx, USA. : He will dominate. He will reign. He will make you forget all those who came : before him. : He will throw 68 to 72 pitches, maybe. Joba Chamberlain會在週二晚上於Bronx第一次於大聯盟先發. 他會領導, 他會壓制. 他會讓你忘了所有他之前的投手. 也許他會投68到72球. : Just how anticipated is Joba's starting-rotation bow? The broadcast networks : waved the white flag, serving up a mix of House reruns ("House makes an : improbable diagnosis and acts all ornery and whatnot") and election coverage. : The NHL bumped the potential Game 6 of the Stanley Cup playoffs back to : Wednesday so as not to intrude upon the low-brimmed righty's spotlight dance. : The NBA delayed the start of the 2008 Finals by two days, just in case the : country needs Wednesday to digest the beacon of magnificent awesomeness that : is Joba. Joba的先發有多麼的被期望呢? 媒體搖著白旗不斷的重播. NHL將可能的賽事延到週三以至於不會打擾到這場盛會. NBA將2008決賽延後兩天, 就為了讓大家可以在週三消化 Joba偉大的驚奇故事. : So outside of the expected -- a no-hitter, a quasi-religious experience, the : dawning of a new age in contemporary sports and, indeed, Western civilization : -- what can we expect from Joba's first A-team night on the big stage? It'll : probably go something like ... 根據外界期望的, 這會是個無安打, 帶著神聖色彩的經驗, 這是競爭運動的新時代, 當然, 也是西部文化的里程. 我們該怎麼預期Joba的第一個大舞台呢? 它也許是像這個樣子的... : 4:25 p.m.: Joba arrives at Yankee Stadium in his blue Duster, escorted by a : NYPD motorcade. After a horde of squealing teenage girls attempt to upend the : car, cops cordon off the scene and mace the offending parties. In the ensuing : confusion, eight SWAT team members extract Joba from the vehicle and hustle : him the 75 yards between the players' parking lot and the stadium entrance. : Ever respectful, Joba insists on holding the door for everyone. 4:25 pm : Joba 穿著藍色的外套到達洋基球場, 由一組紐約州騎警隊保護著. 在一群尖叫的年輕女孩試圖翻車之後, 警方組起了防衛和棍棒以檔開人群. 為了因應這場混亂, 八個特種戰略武警將Joba從車中拉了出來並連忙護送他到離廣場 75碼的運動場入口. 然而令人尊敬的, Joba還是幫大家支著門讓方便大家進入. : 4:31 p.m.: Joba changes from his street clothes -- head-to-toe Ermenegildo : Zegna, natch -- into his navy blue Yankees undershirt and pinstriped uniform : trousers. A reporter fortunate enough to witness the sartorial transformation : posts the following impression on his blog: "Unlike the rest of us, Joba does : not put on his pants one leg at a time. In fact, he puts them on two legs at : a time, while text-messaging with his left hand and shaving with his right." : 5:06 p.m.: Joba meets with the street gang of Yankee beat reporters. Summary : of the no-holds-barred session: No, he isn't nervous. Yes, he hopes to go at : least five full innings. No, you can't have a sip of that. Yes, he will still : be your friend. The klatch concludes with an ever-respectful "thanks a lot, : guys." 4:31 pm : Joba穿上海軍藍的T恤和洋基的直線紋外套. 一名有幸看見的記者在blog上寫著"不像我們一樣, Joba著褲時並不是一次穿一腿, 而是將他的雙腳同時穿上, 邊用左手和其他人溝通, 同時用右手刮鬍子" 5:06 pm : Joba面對一大堆的記者, 這群被塞得水洩不通的人們的消息是.. 他不緊張, 他希望能投最少五局, 不, 你不可以輕談, 是的, 他還是你的朋友, 大家謝謝. : 5:11 p.m.: Joba takes a nap. He dreams of turtles. 5:11 pm : Joba小小的瞇了一下眼. 他夢到了烏龜. (在解夢學上, 烏龜似乎有大地和新生的意思) : 5:52 p.m.: For his pregame snack, the once-tubby Joba consumes the crispest : of legumes and the juiciest of Jujubes. He daintily wipes the corners of his : mouth with a linen napkin, which is immediately encased in Lucite and put up : for charity auction on eBay. 5:52 pm : 賽前的零食裡, Joba吃著最脆的豆子和最最多汁的棗子. 他優雅的擦著嘴角, 這塊手帕馬上以合成樹脂密封並放到eBay上做慈善拍賣. : 5:57 p.m.: Amid frenzied bidding, the soiled Joba rag sells for $28,200. 5:57 pm : 在瘋狂的搶標之後, Joba布以28200美金賣出. : 6:12 p.m.: Joba heads out to the bullpen, where he goes over the game plan : with Jose Molina. Knowing that Joba needs no further guidance or support, : Molina instead recommends a mix of pop-culture touchstones (EW.com, Project : Runway) and home remedies (saltwater gargle for sore throats). : 6:45 p.m.: To the roar of a frenzied crowd, Joba strides lazily from the : bullpen to the dugout. Rather than his usual entrance blast of Mötley Crü : e's Shout at the Devil, the Yankees opt for a full fireworks display and an : 11-minute version of Simply the Best performed by opera dude/Yankee Stadium : squatter Ronan Tynan. 6:12 pm : Joba走向牛棚, 他和Molina討論比賽的計劃. Molina知道Joba不需要更多的建議和提醒, 所以推薦了一些神祕的石頭(像是EW.com節目Project Runway 裡那些設計)和家鄉治療法(像是用塩水嗽口可以防止喉痛)給Joba. 6:46 pm : 在群聚的吼叫中, Joba懶懶的從牛棚走向休息區. 洋基放了整套的煙火秀並做了11分版本的歌劇演出. : 7 p.m.: History is made as Joba takes his first victorious steps out of the : Yankee Stadium dugout as a starter. The stadium illuminates with flashbulbs, : despite the early hour and the .085 percent chance that such photos will : register as anything but a blur. Joba從休息區走出他先發勝利的一步, 同時也創造了歷史. 球場被閃光燈照映得閃閃生輝, 儘管只有0.085%的機率使得照片不會是一片模糊. : 7:01 p.m.: Joba warms up on the mound. From the Yankee radio sanctum, : impartial journalist Suzyn Waldman comments on Joba's "electric" warmup : tosses. She notes his "thick, muscular thighs" and the rotation of his : "surprisingly slender" hips. Broadcast partner John Sterling enthusiastically : agrees, adding "Jumpin' Joltin' Jivin' Juicy Juggernaut Jujitsu Joba" to his : confusing-catchphrase arsenal. 7:01 pm : Joba在投手丘上熱身. 由洋基轉播中心, 中立的記者Suzyn Waldman 提出了一些對Joba"閃電"熱身投球的看法. 她提到他"粗壯且充滿肌肉的大腿", 以及"不可思議般細緻"的臀部. 同伴John Sterling熱心的同意她的說法, 並且將 "跳躍的標射的搖擺的多汁的主宰的柔術的喬巴(總之, 一堆J開頭的字)" 加入他那不可思議的標語詞庫中. : 7:03 p.m.: Tynan reappears for a bloated six-minute version of the national : anthem, proving once anew that the Yankees love freedom more than the Red Sox : do. During the song, the so-respectful Joba removes his cap and bows his : head. 7:03 pm : 洋基放了六分鐘的國歌, 再次的證明著洋基比紅襪更熱愛自由. 在歌曲中, Joba令人尊敬的脫下了帽子鞠躬. : 7:09 p.m.: Triple Crown contender Big Brown is trotted out onto the field, : literally and figuratively, to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. The : horsie half-hoofs the ball toward the third-base line. The crowd reacts : favorably. 7:09 pm : 三冠王Big Brown走向場地, 開出了第一球, 這個如馬般的曲球從三壘邊線切進, 群眾熱烈反應. : 7:11 p.m.: Joba strikes out David Eckstein, Aaron Hill and Alex Rios in a : mere 10 pitches, baffling them with a diving fastball (nasty), a : bowel-vacating change-up (nastier), a howitzer of a curve (nastier still) and : his trademark kamikaze slider (think an underfed Sally Struthers). Only : Eckstein, by virtue of his supreme talent, makes contact with a pitched ball. : The Yankee Stadium crowd rises to its feet as Joba leaves the field, : showering him with jewels and undergarments. 7:11 pm : Joba用10球三振了David Eckstein, Aaron Hill 和 Alex Rios, 賞了他們一個潛水速球(真可怕), 一個斷腸變速(更可怕), 一個榴炮曲球(更是超可怕) 和他的招牌, 神風滑球(想想那些飢餓受圍的士兵們!). 只有Eckstein靠著他超人般的天份, 可以碰到投出的球一下. 當Joba走回休息室的同時, 洋基群聚們起立歡呼, 投出了大雨般的球寶和內衣. : 7:20 p.m.: After Jays starter Roy Halladay sets down the Yankees with an : economical eight pitches in the bottom of the first, a Canadian ex-pat fan : practically announces his ignorance by suggesting that Joba ranks as the : second-most-able pitcher currently in the game. The hoser is pulled aside and : beaten savagely by the hairy-knuckle contingent in Section 39. 7:20 pm : Halladay很經濟的只用了八球就解決了洋基打者, 一名不學無術的加拿大球迷表示Joba只是比賽中的No.2, 他馬上被拉到39區的暗處而被痛打一頓. : 7:26 p.m.: Rod Barajas' ground ball somehow penetrates the impervious Yankee : infield defense. He becomes the answer to the future trivia question, "Which : ridiculously lucky jerkhead player's fluke base hit was the first surrendered : by 400-win Hall of Famer Joba Chamberlain as a starting pitcher?" 7:26 pm : Rod Barajas' 擊出了穿越內野的滾地球. 他馬上成為了一個將來小問題的答案, "有哪名鬼扯的幸運小子僥倖在400勝名人堂投手Joba的先發時打了第一支鳥安?" : 7:28 p.m.: A six-pitch walk to Joe Inglett? This cannot be happening. This : cannot be happening. Suzyn Waldman attempts to impale herself on her : scorecard pencil. 7:28 : 六球保送了Joe Inglett!? 這不可能, 不可能發生. Suzyn Waldman簡直想用記分筆刺穿她自己. : 7:29 p.m.: Whew -- a double play. CNN cancels plans to break into its regular : programming. 7:29 pm : 哇, 一個雙殺. CNN馬上停止日常的播映計劃來安插這個事件. : 7:29 p.m.: Joba pumps his fist enthusiastically, prompting : school-before-the-old-school Jays skipper John Gibbons to lose his crap. From : the dugout, he chirps at Joba about "knowing your place" and "acting like : you've been there before." He is immediately placed in protective custody. 7:29 pm : Joba做出了他的歡呼動作, 激動的光芒小丑John Gibbons 說了些粗話, 他啾聲啾氣的對Joba說"你以為你是誰啊"和"以為你待過這種場面是吧". 他馬上被警方列為保護對象. : 7:38 p.m.: Lookie that -- the Yankees score a run off Halladay. That's : something you don't see every night. Joba is credited with the RBI, despite : having spent the half-inning in the clubhouse fielding congratulatory calls : from world leaders and captains of industry. 7:38 pm : 看啊 -- 洋基在Halladay身上得分了. 你不會每天看見這麼回事. Joba被記了一分打點! 儘管後來花了五局在俱樂部裡接來自世界領袖和工業界大老的祝賀電話. : 7:57 p.m.: Joba throws three heaters past an overmatched designated hitter : who does not resemble the recently released Frank Thomas. Somewhere north of : the border, J.P. Ricciardi idly scratches his ass. 7:57 pm : Joba三振了不怎麼像最近被釋出的DH Frank Thomas. 而在美國北部邊境附近, J.P. Ricciardi(註: Jays的GM)懶懶的搔著自己的屁股. : 8:11 p.m.: Jason Giambi, slump-busting mustache and thong in tow, yanks a : Halladay changeup into the shallow right-field stands to give the Yankees a : 2-0 lead. Upon emerging from the dugout for his mandatory : Yankee-does-something-half-OK curtain call, Giambi hears only murmurs. After : a few concerned strokes of his 'stache, he retreats into the dugout and sends : out Joba. The crowd goes bonkers. 8:11 pm : 小鬍子Giambi將Halladay的變速球打向右外野, 使得洋基以2-0領先. 但他沒有聽到很熱烈的歡呼, 所以在摸摸自己的小鬍子思考後, Giambi很快的走回休息區, 讓Joba上場, 群聚為之瘋狂. : 8:28 p.m.: Joba throws his 71st and final pitch of the evening. It is a : wonderful pitch, an otherworldly pitch, a cruel pitch, a slider. This slider : is to all sliders that preceded it what Alec Baldwin is to Java Man, what : brie is to Kraft American singles. It goes for a called third strike and Lyle : Overbay retreats dugout-ward, demoralized. On his way off the field, Joba : tips his cap ever-respectfully to the fans, who respond by lapsing into : euphoria-induced seizures. 8:28 pm : Joba投出他的最後一球, 第71個投球. 它是多麼完美的一球, 多麼不像這世界上的一球, 多麼殘酷的一球, 一個滑球. 這滑球之於其他的滑球, 就像是Alec Baldwin(註: 美國知名影星)之於爪哇人, 像是Brie(註: 法國高級乾乳酪) 之於Kraft公司的單片起士. 它完成了一個三振, Lyle Overbay洩氣的走回了休息區. 當Joba走回休息區的途中, 他對球迷們致敬, 球迷立刻陷入狂喜的失落之中. : 8:29 p.m.: The verdict? Joba Rules. 8:29 pm : 結局? Joba贏了. : Postscript : 8:38 p.m.: After the Yankees take 12 more overcaffeinated whacks at : Halladay's elusive offerings, Ross Ohlendorf heads in from the bullpen to the : strains of Elvis Costello's God Give Me Strength. His sink-free sinker fails : to sink. The Yankees promptly surrender the two-run lead. : 8:39 p.m.: Sports radio WFAN registers its first "we need Joba in the : bullpen!" call. And so it goes. 附錄 8:38 pm : 在洋基從Halladay辛苦的守備中重重的擊出了12支長打後, Ross Ohlendorf 在Elvis Costello的"神啊給我力量"曲調中走向了牛棚. 他的看運氣下落伸卡球不會掉落. 洋基便以兩分的領先提出投降. 8:39 pm : 運動電台 WFAN 註冊了"我們需要Joba在牛棚!"的標語. 然後就是這樣. - 後來後記的諷刺還真的... -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 59.127.137.228 ※ 編輯: miyatan 來自: 59.127.137.228 (06/04 14:35)